Above image from the website – www.justoutsidetheboxcartoon.com
Taking a break from the previous blog post about Japan and it’s coping strategies for loneliness (of which I’m suffering with myself), I thought I’d include a small synopsis into my reasons for creating this blog site in the first place. Well, technically, there’s a torrent of reasons, but this particular case is boarding on unbearable…
You see, in all these 28 years of living, I have seen a lot in my life, from my own perspective, and I can tell you, trying to live as a genuine, honest and dedicated human being can be one of the hardest lifestyles to live. Do you know why? Well, I’ll tell you, from my experiences. You hear so many twisted words, phrases and platitudes in this life. Everything from, ‘Be yourself’, ‘If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again’, ‘Do unto others as you want others to do unto you’, ‘God helps those who help themselves’, and one of the worst, ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’. I have heard so many of them growing up, but from my point of view, my observations of them are that this world, either twists the meaning of them all, or they are blatant lies to cover up the real truth. I could list you each one and give you an example, either from personal experiences, or from my perspective of the world.
‘Be yourself’
It’s meaning seems to change from person to person…
Now, what do you normally figure the words ‘Be yourself’ to mean? To me, they mean sticking true to your values no matter what the world and its immorality have thrown at you. That is my own observation. Personally, I’m glad I stuck by this principle, but what if someone else misinterprets these words, what could it mean to someone who has difficulty speaking in person, face-to-face for example? Say they have difficulty talking to someone straight away. What happens if they need to read some passages they’d prepared for themselves in advance, to help them to explain and express the topics they’d find too difficult to say on the spot, under pressure and anxiety? What then? That’s when the term ‘Be yourself’ is taken to a completely different level. If you are uncomfortable talking to someone new for the first time, isn’t it natural to be nervous? It can take some of us a long time to build the courage to talk to another in fluent conversation. It can take time, trust, understanding and care, for you to truly, ‘Be yourself’, in the way that some people perceive those words.
‘If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again’
Now we get to the nitty-gritty of the phrases
For me personally, this phrase has got to be one of the most painful phrases of them all. It isn’t the worst, but it’s getting there. Why? It’s because this is exactly what I have been doing for around 18 years of my life, well, technically, 23 years, but I’m rounding down due to a more focused trauma…
One particular case springs to mind, of an experience I went through for over six years. In fact, it brings several of these quotes together, since they all relate in one way or another. There was a female I was in contact with through those years, she was two years younger than me, but if anyone proved to me that this quote is meaningless, it would be her, W.I.T.H.O.U.T a doubt. That no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you care, no matter how much you put into it, you only end up buried head first deep into the ground…
Now, since this is more of a fractioned blog post, I’m going to refrain from talking about it too much because it’s a subject that deserves a blog post, or several, of it’s own. Let’s just say, over those six plus years, I grew feelings for her, I cared for her deeply, but due to the traumas I was going through, it took me a long time to open up about them. I was always honest with her, I was always genuine, I always gave it my all, but despite my best efforts, it all came crashing down. I sent her many personal and handmade gifts on her birthdays and at Christmas. I wrote caring, encouraging, thoughtful, and at times, even loving words to her, all of which she loved to read, and hear me say, when I met her for the first and very last time back in 2018. I poured my heart and soul out to her, I did my utmost, I kept trying and trying, to express my feelings in the best way I could, gradually building up the courage to tell her more openly as I was working through my trauma. In the end, I did, and do you know what? You’d think that with all those affectionate and caring words, through all those personal and handmade gifts I’d sent her, that I must have meant something special to her… No… Instead, she throws me away like I’m a piece of rubbish, like I’m nothing but a mere grain of sand, like the shadowed ghost I’d always remained since the day I first entered into the hell of a system called ‘school’. Life never changes, at least not in a good way, huh? ‘School’, ha, what a joke! That’s a blog post there in itself, ‘school’, ‘prison’, ‘life’, can YOU tell the difference!?
Anyway, my point being, I did ‘try and try again’, not just with her either, I’ve tried many times, all over the internet, in so many different ways, but to no avail… Nothing ever worked, in all these years.
‘Do unto others as you want others to do unto you’
A quote twisted to within an inch of it’s life
Now, I can imagine a lot of you saying, “Oh, surely not!” However; you may be surprised to know how this quote was twisted back in the school system as I was growing up. I witnessed how this quote became something darker, simply because the words were taken too literally. I have witnessed bully victims who must have taken those words and twisted them into something like, ‘Bully unto others as they’d want to bully unto you’. Why do I say that? It’s because one of these bully victims did just that, took that abusive nature and projected it upon others, and I know this, because I was one of the victims of that reflected bullying. I can also tell you something else as well. I later discovered this same bullied bully on Facebook a long time later, only his way of thinking and ideology clearly backfired, because his social life was clearly twisted because of it. I feel he tied himself up in knots so he didn’t know whether he was coming or going. So, this is what can happen when you start taking phrases like this too literally, which I feel is all too common, because let’s think about this for a second. How many people do you REALLY think care about their fellow man and woman? If you think about that for yourself, then it draws you to the conclusion that there are far too many out there who’d stab you in the back without a second thought… I should know, I’ve witnessed enough of them in my lifetime!
‘God helps those who help themselves’
Here’s an interesting quote which I’ve never quite understood
Now, this quote makes us think that if we were to carry out a task for ourselves, then God will assist us through our efforts. However; in modern times, words and phrases can develop into multiple meanings. Let’s take these two words, ‘help themselves’. What do you think that can mean?
On the one hand it can mean when you do something to help yourself, but there are two very important points that need to be mentioned here. One is, how can you ‘help yourself’ if you’re impaired in some way, are unable to function as easily as someone abler? Are you able to ‘help yourself’ then? So, are we saying, God may not help us at all simply because we are unable to ‘help ourselves’? So, where is the benevolence in that? I don’t really understand quotes like that…
There is another important point which I feel the words, ‘help themselves’, can be interpreted into as well. The words, ‘help yourself’, has an unfortunate way of sounding like a term for greed or gluttony, two of the seven deadly sins mentioned within the Bible. Take for example, ‘Excuse me, but I’ll just HELP MYSELF to that’. You see what I mean? So, are we saying that if we, ‘help ourselves’, to something, God will help us?
Personally I feel there are too many quotes like these that have a dangerous way of having too many multiple, and contradictory, meanings. They can be easily misinterpreted.
‘Keep Calm and Carry On’
Here is one of Britain’s most iconic, ironic, and in my opinion, insensitive quotes of all time
Personally, why these words should ever be associated with the United Kingdom makes me sick… What do YOU really think these words truly mean? Do you think they mean, ‘calm down and think things through’? No, in my eyes, I see, ‘Now, calm down! Put up with it, or shut up!’ To me, it is an insult.
The fact that it’s become a quote used and modified to fit fashion and icon trends leads me to suspect what this quote was originally intended to do. This is psychological mind games if ever I’ve seen one. It’s one of the most blatantly obvious and in your face, if you’re willing to recognise it. If you’re just one of the masses, who accept these quotes as just a part of life, and move on, then it proves to me the effects it’s already having on the public.
When exactly did this quote come into existence we should all ask ourselves? Did it just creep into existence and become a sudden fashion statement? Why? Why should a quote like this become so famous? What is it truly about that makes people think about it? Is it because it’s shoved into our faces within shop windows, on internet advertisements, on television? Mass corporations and businesses are pushing this forward. Do you think they’re doing this simply for profit, or for something much worse?
For one, yes, the trends are what companies and businesses follow in order to make a profit, it’s true. Take for example, if you were to take a franchise in a particular bag, they may want to add a certain statement or slogan recognised as a way to advertise their product. However; what happens when it’s psychologically based, say it’s something they want the public to look at to take their attention away from something important. Like for example, the morality of the company selling the product. Are they a genuinely honest company, do they treat their employees fairly, where do they source their materials and workforce, is it truly fair trade, or slave labour? Do you see what I mean? The words ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’, would mean, ‘Oh, don’t worry about the corruption of the company, just let it go and keep going’. See, the world isn’t so straightforward then, is it?
Conclusion
Sometimes I wonder whether these quotes and platitudes are more designed for the purposes of psychological mind tricks than to actually provide anyone any real advice or support. I have always been sick to death of platitudes. I can remember the empty words I used to hear all too many times in my early school years growing up, and the painted on grins plastered on the school officials faces every time inspectors came to visit. You knew, as soon as the reports would be filed for the school, it was going to get a beaming sheen…that is a beaming sheen of LIES, nothing more! They can put on an act as much as they like, but the reality is always in the eyes of the poor students who have to suffer through each day, especially those who felt alone, trapped and isolated, in a system, be it school or life in general, which understands you about as much as a mammoth understands the perspective of the world through the eyes of a mouse…
Lost in an Alien World 